Deux mois après que nous nous soyons rencontrés, lorsque nous avons commencé à construire une amitié solide… j'avais déjà lu entre les lignes que Gary m'aimait beaucoup… je sentais qu'il était en train de tomber amoureux de moi tout comme j'étais en train de tomber amoureuse de lui et c'était tellement romantique le jour où il m'a dédicacé une chanson d'amour. C'était pour moi le signe évident d'une avance timide, il disait « Ma chère Claudia, je suis au paradis maintenant… mes yeux sont fermés et je respire profondément le parfum de ta lettre que je viens déjà de lire 3 fois en une heure… et tes photos!! Il existe une chanson de Kenny Chesney que je vais te chanter maintenant… «When I close my eyes – you're all I see ...» (oh ! J'aime vraiment cette chanson et ma voix est absolument parfaite pour l'interpréter). Est-ce que tu penses que les gardes vont nous chasser si nous la chantons? Donnez-moi un micro!! (Lettre de Gary du 15 août 2000). A partir de ce moment, je savais que Gary était amoureux de moi mais qu'il était encore trop timide pour me le déclarer.

La seule chanson sur le CD que je n'ai jamais pu partager avec Gary est «No Matter What» par Boyzone. J'ai envoyé les paroles à Gary parce que je pensais que la chanson reflétait exactement notre situation et il me semblait que Gary l'aimerait. Ils ont diffusé cette chanson 3 fois pour lui à la radio mais malheureusement il n'a jamais eu l'opportunité de l'écouter. La première fois qu'elle a été diffusée, il venait de partir pour la douche et les deux fois suivantes, l'antenne radio de la prison ne fonctionnait pas et Gary n'a jamais pu l'écouter.

Quand Gary a reçu une date d'exécution pour le 27 juin 2002, j'ai eu l'idée de faire un CD regroupant toutes nos chansons... avec toutes les chansons qui pour nous, voulaient dire tant de choses. Les chansons dont nous parlions souvent lors des visites que je rendais à Gary et qu'il me chantait parfois. Gary avait une très belle voix et chantait très bien. Etant donné qu'il aimait tant la musique, Gary me demandait souvent de chanter avec lui mais j'étais trop timide. Une seule fois seulement, nous avons chanté ensemble et cela a rendu Gary vraiment heureux parce qu'avant cela personne n'avait jamais chanté avec lui.

J'ai crée une couverture avec deux photographies de nos visites où l'on peut voir l'amour jaillir des yeux de Gary, l'amour qu'il ressentait pour moi. Une autre photographie de Gary, prise en janvier 1990, un mois seulement avant que le crime n'ait eu lieu et j'aime vraiment beaucoup cette photo tout comme j'aime Gary quand il est pris en photo enfant. Quel merveilleux et délicieux petit garçon.

A l'intérieur de la boîte, j'avais décidé de mettre une photo de Gary extraite de son casier judiciaire parce qu'il est vraiment beau sur cette photo et aussi parce que c'est la première photo que j'ai vue de Gary. Au verso, on y trouve une photo d'un magnifique coucher de soleil sur la plage. Au dos de la boîte, j'ai fait la liste de toutes les chansons du CD.

Gary a dédicacé mon exemplaire avec ces mots: «JE REMERCIE DIEU DE NOUS AVOIR ACCORDE CE MOMENT. JE TE REMERCIE POUR ETRE A MES COTES. JE T’AIME CLAUDIA».

Quand Gary a reçu un sursis en juin 2002, il était tellement content qu’il m’a chanté «One more day, one more time, one more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied, but then again, I know what it would do, leave me wishin' still for one more day with you. One more day». (Un jour de plus, un instant de plus, un coucher de soleil de plus et je serais content mais à nouveau, je sais ce que cela signifie, donne-moi le droit d’espérer d’avoir un jour de plus avec toi. Seulement un jour)

Après l’exécution de Gary, j’ai adressé un exemplaire du CD aux amis de Gary en mémoire de lui. Après l’exécution de Gary, il m’est devenu difficile d’écouter à nouveau ces chansons. Aujourd’hui, je suis en train d’écouter la très belle et romantique chanson que Gary m’avait dédicacée, la toute première – «When I close my eyes, you’re alle I see» (Quand je ferme mes yeux, tu es tout ce que je vois) - aujourd’hui les premiers mots de la chanson me donnent le cafard, parce que ces mots sont devenus vrais «There’s so many things, I didn’t say, and even though, it may be too late, I want you to know, I still love you so» (Il y a tant de choses que je n’ai pas dites, même si cela paraît trop tard, je veux que tu saches que je t’aimerai toujours)

Aujourd’hui quand j’écoute nos chansons, souvent je me sens très triste et je pleure beaucoup mais souvent aussi je commence à sourire et je me souviens de tous mes merveilleux souvenirs. Je me souviens de chaque mot que Gary m’a dit à propos de certaines chansons. Je me souviens de lui lorsqu’il les chantait. Je me souviens combien cela m’émouvait quand il me parlait d’une chanson de «country» triste et je me rappelle que souvent Gary pleurait lorsqu’il était trop ému par l’une de ces chansons tristes ou par une chanson d’amour.

Gary était un homme tellement particulier et tellement sentimental, il ne peut en exister d’autre, qui me fasse ressentir de tels sentiments comme lui l’a fait. Nous sommes tombés amoureux à nouveau et je ne sais pas ce que nous serions devenu sans cela. La vie avec lui avait un sens profond et vrai car Gary était mon meilleur ami.

Lyrics

Kenny Cheseny - When I Close My Eyes

There's so many things
I didn't say
And even though
It may be too late
I want you to know
I still love you so
Every car I meet
Looks like your car
Every movie I see
You play the leading part
You're on my mind
Can't leave you behind

When I close my eyes
You're all I see
In the dark of night
You're in my dreams
Throughout the day
You're easy to find
You're always there
When I close my eyes

In my mind I know
You're far away
But here in my heart
Nothing has changed
I'm still holdin' you
Like I used to
On a busy street
In a crowded room
Wherever I go
It's just me and you
Together again
Girl it never ends

When I close my eyes
You're all I see
In the dark of night
You're in my dreams
Throughout the day
You're easy to find
You're always there
When I close my eyes

You're always there
When I close my eyes

Tim McGraw - The Cowboy In Me

I don't know why I act
The way I do
Like I ain't got a
Single thing to lose
Sometimes I'm my own
Worst enemy
I guess that's just
The cowboy in me

I got a life that
Most would
Love to have
But sometimes
I still wake up
Fightin' mad
At where this road
I'm headin' down
Might lead
I guess that's just
The cowboy in me

The urge to run
The restlessness
The heart of stone
I sometimes get
The things I've done
For foolish pride
The me that's never
Satisfied
The face that's in the
Mirror when I don't
Like what I see
I guess that's just
The cowboy in me

Girl, I know there's times
You must have thought
There ain't a line you've
Drawn I haven't crossed
But you set your mind to
See this love on through
I guess that's just
The cowboy in you

We ride and never worry
About the fall
I guess that's just the
Cowboy in us all

Chris Cagle - I Breathe In, I Breathe Out

Lately I've been runnin'
Into our old friends
And somewhere in the small talk
Someone always asks where you've been
So I tell them what you told me
And they can't believe we're through
They ask me what I'm doin' now
And in case you're wonderin' too

I breathe in, I breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
'Til you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
Until then
I breathe in and breathe out

I've got every reason
To find someone new
Cause you swore up and down to me
That I've seen the last of you
But the way that you loved me
Girl, left me hopin' and holdin' on
So until this world stops turning round
And my heart believes you're gone

I breathe in, I breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
'Til you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
Until then
I breathe in and breathe out

We were meant to be
Girl, there's no doubt
And if it takes the rest of my life
For you to figure it out

Steve Holy - Good Morning Beautiful

Good mornin' beautiful, how was your night ?
Mine was wonderful with you by my side, and when I
Opened my eyes to see your sweet face
It's a good mornin' beautiful day

I couldn't see the light
I didn't know day from night
I had no reason to care
'Cause since you came along
I can face the dawn
'Cause I know you'll be there

Good mornin' beautiful, how was your night ?
Mine was wonderful with you by my side, and when I
Opened my eyes to see your sweet face
It's a good mornin' beautiful day

I never worry if it's rainin' outside
'Cause in here with you, girl, the sun always shines

Good mornin' beautiful, how was your night ?
Mine was wonderful with you by my side, and when I
Opened my eyes to see your sweet face
It's a good mornin' beautiful day
Oh good mornin' beautiful day
Good mornin' beautiful
It's a beautiful day
Good mornin' beautiful
Good mornin'
Good mornin' beautiful
What a beautiful day
Good mornin' beautiful

Kevin Denney - That's Just Jessie

Sometimes in the morning
My coffee gets ice cold
And I'll burn up three cigarettes
Before I have my first smoke
Miss my exit on the way to work
Every now and then
I always blame it on the traffic
When they ask me where I've been

And in a crowded elevator
I'll start humming that old song
There's no way of knowing
When that urge will come along
I've been stuck in some meeting
Look down at my legal pad
And see hearts and flowers and
Butterflies
And I can't help but laugh

That's just a dirt road, summer '89
That's just a back seat and some
Muscadine wine
That's just auburn hair, brushing
Cross my cheek
And those kiss me green eyes
Smiling back at me
That's just my mind
Jumping fences once again
But I'll be fine once I get it rode
Back in
I know sometimes I may act a
Little crazy
But that's just Jessie

And sometimes in the evening
I hear bare feet in the hall
And I see a slender silhouette
Dance across the wall
Then I catch the scent of jasmine
Perfume in the wind
And I know it's her sweet memory
Coming back again

(But that's just Jessie)
In a white cotton dress
That's just a wildfire that I ain't
Put out yet
That's just auburn hair, brushing
Cross my cheek
And those kiss me green eyes
Smiling back at me
That's just my mind
Jumping fences once again
But I'll be fine once I get it rode
Back in
I know sometimes I may act a
Little crazy
But that's just Jessie

Diamond Rio - One More Day

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishin' still for one more day with you
One more day

First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone
Keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do with one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishin' still for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishin' still for one more day
Leave me wishin' still for one more day
Leave me wishin' still for one more day with you
One more day
One more day

Lonestar - I'm Already There

He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say 'I love you' one more time
But when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughin' in the background
(He) had to wipe away a tear from his eye

A little voice came on the phone
Said 'Daddy, when you comin' home?'
He said the first thing that came to his mind

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh, I'm already there

She got back on the phone
Said 'I really miss you, darlin'
Don't worry about the kids, they'll be alright
I wish I was in your arms
Lyin' right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight

And I'll gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes'

I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shinin' down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there 'til the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh, I'm already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there 'til the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh, I'm already there
Oh, I'm already there

Garth Brooks - If Tomorrow Never Comes

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

'Cause if tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

Kenney Chesney - You Had Me From Hello

One word, that's all you said
Somethin' in your voice caused me to turn my head
Your smile, just captured me
And you were in my future as far as I could see
And I don't know how it happened, but it happened still
You asked me if I loved you, if I always will

Well you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow
The moment that I looked into your eyes you owned me
It was over from the start
You completely stole my heart
And now you won't let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from "Hello"

Inside, I built the walls
So high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall
One touch, you brought it down
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground
And I swore to me I wasn't gonna love again
The last time was the last time, I let someone in

But you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow
The moment that I looked into your eyes you owned me
It was over from the start
You completely stole my heart
And now you won't let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from "Hello"

That's all you said
Somethin' in your voice caused me to turn my head
You had me from "Hello"
Girl, I've loved you from "Hello"

Tim McGraw - My Best Friend

I never had no one that I could count on
I've been that down so many times
I was tired of hurtin' so tired of searchin'
Til you walked into my life
It was a feelin' I'd never known
And for the first time I didn't feel alone

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Every time I look at you
I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend

You stand by me you believe in me
Like nobody ever has
When my world goes crazy
You're right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
And I still tremble when we touch

And oh the look in your eyes
When we make love

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Every time I look at you
And I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
And oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Every time I look at you
And I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend
You're my best friend

Dixie Chicks - Without You

I've sure enjoyed the rain
But I'm lookin' forward to the sun
You have to feel the pain
When you lose the love you gave someone
I thought by now the time
Would take away these lonely tears
I hope you're doin' fine all alone
But where do I go from here, 'cause

Without you, I'm not okay
And without you, I've lost my way
My heart's stuck in second place, ooh woo
Without you

Well, I never thought I'd be
Lying here without you by my side
It seems unreal to me
That the life you promised was a lie
You made it look so easy
Makin' love into memories
I guess you got what you wanted
But what about me, 'cause

Without you, I'm not okay
And without you, I've lost my way
My heart's stuck in second place, ooh woo
Without you

Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart
That I'm better off without you
'Cause baby I can't live

Without you, I'm not okay
And without you, I've lost my way
My heart's stuck in second place, ooh woo
Without you

Gary Allan - The One

No rush though I need your touch
I won't rush your heart
Until you feel on solid ground
Until your strength is found, girl

I'll fill those canyons in your soul
Like a river lead you home
And I'll walk a step behind
In the shadows so you shine
Just ask, it will be done
And I will prove my love
Until you're sure that I'm "the one"

Somebody else was here before
He treated you unkind
And broken wings need time to heal
Before a heart can fly, girl

I'll fill those canyons in your soul
Like a river lead you home
And I'll walk a step behind
In the shadows so you shine
Just ask, it will be done
And I will prove my love
Until you're sure that I'm "the one"

Trust in me and you'll find a heart so true
All I want to do is give the best of me to you
And stand beside you

Just ask, it will be done
And I will prove my love
Until you're sure that I'm "the one"

Chad Brock - Yes !

She moved into my old apartment
That's how we got this whole thing started
She called and said that I had mail
Waiting there for me

I told her that I'd come and get it
How could I know in just a minute
That I'd be standing face to face
With my own destiny
Oh and we sat there talking just like we were old friends
Oh then I asked her "Can I see you again?"

And she said, "Yes !"
And I said, "Wow !"
And she said, "When ?"
And I said, "How about right now ?"
Love can't wait
Then I asked if she believed in fate
And she said, "Yes !"

Days flew by just like a fast train
And nothing else has been on my brain
Except the thought of how she makes me
The man I want to be

She's the one I want for a million reasons
Loving her is just like breathing
It's easy and it's obvious
That she was made for me

Oh then it happened one night looking in her eyes
Oh when I popped the question much to my surprise

And she said, "Yes !"
And I said, "Wow !"
And she said, "When ?"
And I said, "How about right now ?"
Love can't wait
Then I asked if she believed in fate
And she said, "Yes !"

So we called the preacher, family and friends
And nothing's been the same since

She said, "Yes!"

Garth Brooks - The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

Tim McGraw - Please Remember Me

All our tears have reached the sea
Part of you will live in me
Way down deep inside my heart
The days keep coming without fail
New wind is gonna find your sail
That's where your journey starts

You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
But please, remember me
Just like the waves down by the shore
We're gonna keep on coming back for more

'Cause we don't ever wanna stop
Out in this brave new world you'll see
Over the valleys and the peaks
And I can see you on the top

You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
But please, remember me

Remember me when you're out walking
When snow falls high outside your door
Late at night when you're not sleeping
And moonlight falls across your floor...
And I can't hurt you anymore

You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
But please, remember me

Please remember me

Derryl Worley - I Miss My Friend

I miss the look of surrender in your eyes
The way your soft brown hair would fall
I miss the power of your kiss when we made love
Oh, but baby, most of all
I miss my friend

The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say
To make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
And I miss your gentle voice
In lonely times like now
Sayin' it'll be alright
I miss my friend

The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say
To make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss those times
I miss those nights
I even miss our silly fights
The makin' up
The mornin' talks
And those late afternoon walks
I miss my friend

I miss my friend
I miss my friend
I miss my friend

Mark Wills - Wish You Were Here

They kissed goodbye at the terminal gate
She said 'you're gonna be late if you don't go'
He held her tight, said 'I'll be alright
I'll call you tonight to let you know'
He bought a postcard, on the front it just said 'heaven'
With a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loved her and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach

Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say 'Hello', I miss you so, wish you were here

She got a call that night but it wasn't from him
It didn't sink in right away, 'Ma'am the plane went down
Our crews have searched the ground
No survivors found' she heard him say
But somehow she got a postcard in the mail
That just said 'heaven' with a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loves her and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach

Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say 'Hello', I miss you so, wish you were here

The weather's nice, in paradise
It's summertime all year and all the folks we know
They say 'Hello', I miss you so, wish you were here
Wish you were here

Kenny Chesney - Me And You

Ordinary, no
Really don't think so
Not a love this true
Common destiny
We were meant to be
Me and you

Like a perfect scene
From a movie screen
We're a dream come true
Suited perfectly
For eternity
Me and you

Everyday, I need you even more
And the nighttime too
There's no way I could ever let you go
Even if I wanted to

Everyday I live
Try my best to give
All I have to you
Thank the stars above
That we share this love
Me and you

Everyday, I need you even more
And the nighttime too
There's no way I could ever let you go
Even if I wanted to

Ordinary, no
Really don't think so
Just a precious few
Ever make it last
Get as lucky as
Me and you
Me and you

Boyzone - No Matter What

No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true

No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
(I know I'm not)
I know I'll love forever (I know)
I know, no matter what

If only tears were laughter
If only night was day
If only prayers were answered
(Hear my prayers)
Then we would hear God say

No matter what they tell you
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach you
What you believe is true

And I will keep you safe and strong
And shelter from the storm
(No matter where)
No matter where it's barren
(A dream)
A dream is being born

No matter who they follow
No matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us
I'll be everyone you need

No matter if the sun don't shine
(The sun don't shine)
Or if the skies are blue
(Skys are blue)
No matter what the ending
(My life)
My life began with you

I can't deny what I believe
(What I believe)
I can't be what I'm not
(I know I'm not)
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now
No matter what

(No no matter)
No no matter what

(No no matter)
No no matter what

No no matter
That's all that matters to me

No no matter ..